Helping Parents Heal…

Australia and New Zealand Parents

Helping Parents Heal Inaugural Online Meeting for Parents

Helping Parents Heal is a wonderful organisation designed to allow parents whose children have transitioned to support each other. Unlike many bereavement support organisations, members share knowledge about signs, after death contacts, mediums and other methods of direct communication with their children. HPH meetings are uplifting, inspiring and enlightening.

When: 19th December

Where: Online Zoom – by putting this link into your browser Join from PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android: https://zoom.us/j/6123708172

Or email karynjarvie@ozemail.com.au

When:

4.30 Perth
6.00 pm Darwin
6.30 pm Brisbane
7.00 pm Adelaide
7.30 pm Hobart
7.30 pm Melbourne
7.30 pm Sydney
9.30 pm Christchurch
9.30 pm Wellington

Zoom is the leader in modern enterprise video communications, with an easy, reliable cloud platform for video and audio conferencing, chat, and webinars across mobile, desktop, and room systems. Zoom Rooms is the original software-based conference…
ZOOM.US

COMMENTARY: BATTLE FOR THE MIND


 

Victor Zammit is the author of the Friday Report, a weekly report that has been printed every Friday for the past 18 years.  This weeks report can be found at this link.            http://victorzammit.com/November24th2017

 

Over the last five years we have seen the closed minded skeptics getting fewer and fewer, while orthodox religions are also losing numerical support.

Collectively we are going through an expansion of the mind unseen in human history. Fewer people are accepting traditional creation stories and religious beliefs. At the same time they are refusing to accept the materialist explanation that everything in the universe came by chance. 

Fundamentalists and other traditional religious believers blame the reduction in the number of their followers on the evils of materialism. However people are saying that they are not finding traditional religious information convincing and relevant.

This is why objective, repeatable afterlife research is more important than ever. People are opening their minds, seeking a new understanding of who we are, and our place in the universe. People are looking for the TRUTH and the TRUTH about the afterlife sets us free from fear of death and despair about life.

The Spiritual Nature of Animals

ANIMAS: An excerpt from THE SPIRITUAL NATURE OF ANIMALS by Karlene Stange, DVM

Author Karlene Stange’s spiritual journey began during her work as an ambulatory veterinarian, driving her pickup truck through southwestern Colorado, attending to animals in need of medical care. She has experienced the challenges, sorrows, and joys of working with creatures great and small, and she feels a powerful kinship with these beautiful beings beyond flesh and fur and feathers. Her book, The Spiritual Nature of Animals: A Country Vet Explores the Wisdom, Compassion, and Souls of Animals, chronicles her spiritual path working with animals, through the lenses of various teachings of religious and cultural traditions, as well as her own encounters with the magnificent Rocky Mountain terrain and the quirky characters — both animal and human — who inhabit it.

We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from The Spiritual Nature of Animals, in which Dr. Stange shares how her spiritual journey working with animals began.

 

I set out to understand the spiritual nature of animals, and in so doing, I discovered my own. Creatures great and small dragged me down a rabbit hole and through sacred tunnels into a world of dragons, shamans, gurus, lamas, monks, nuns, demons, priests, rabbis, preachers, scientists, clairvoyants, channels, mystics, animal communicators, and spiritual teachers. Those adepts schooled me and gave me refuge from the drama and trauma overburdening me. They introduced me to the anima — what Jungian psychology refers to as the animating principle present in all living beings.

Anima is the Latin root of the word animal. It means soul, breath, and life. Veterinarians share a personal relationship with the anima; we watch it drain from a body only to meet it again as a newborn foal or pup. Yet veterinary education rarely mentions it. We learn detailed information about bones, blood, and the other physical components, but little is said of the nonphysical aspect — the animas of animals. I now believe it is the most important part.

Firemen do not enter burning buildings or ascend to the tops of tall trees to grab a hunk of meat known as a “cat.” They rescue a beloved family member, a companion. The incorporeal light in an animal’s eyes reaches into our hearts. It touches us more deeply than any physical thing. We humans have the capacity to connect with the spiritual nature of animals; it makes us happy.

I wanted to be an animal doctor before I knew the word veterinarian. As a young girl in Wisconsin, I remember attending a stallion showing. The handler enumerated the attributes of the handsome gray Arabian stud as I stared at a gray-haired man in the audience. He appeared humble and placid and wore a vest monogrammed with the veterinary emblem. I learned that he was the local large-animal veterinarian. Although I did not know him, something about his wise yet nonjudgmental demeanor attracted me, and I longed to be like him. I had yet to learn how the fires of veterinary practice would burn and melt me before forging me into the person I aspired to become.

According to the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), the suicide rate for veterinarians is four times higher than the national average. This may be due in part to the gory wounds and difficult procedures, the death and euthanasia, and the stress of long hours treating emergencies, but it may also be because of something I call “compassion overwhelm.” We care too much. We tend to be compulsive overachievers who sacrifice our lives for the job, as did the cattle practitioner I read about once in the AVMA obituaries who drowned trying to save a calf stuck in a muddy pond. Or perhaps suicide appeals to us because of our familiarity with death.

No matter the reasons, my experience convinces me that an understanding of the spiritual nature of animals benefits the mental and emotional health of veterinarians and animal-loving people who anguish over the suffering of pets and wildlife. Furthermore, veterinary clients may harbor strong religious beliefs that influence their decisions, and we must show them respect and speak to them with wisdom. I hope the insights shared here provide comfort to those who live with, tend to, and love animals. Perhaps, once they learn of their beneficial qualities, some may even come to see and appreciate the simple beauty of maggots and other parts of nature we often abhor.

My goal, then, is to explore the world’s religious, spiritual, philosophical, and scientific teachings about the nonphysical makeup of animals for the highest good of animal care, the human-animal bond, and the well-being of all concerned.

Each chapter explores a different religious belief system and offers three main approaches to the material. First, each chapter begins with a description of that belief system. In order for the reader to fully comprehend the tenets of Hinduism, Judaism, shamanism, and so on, the vocabulary must first be defined. Therefore, each chapter includes some history and definitions followed by an investigation into the religion’s beliefs regarding animals. Then, throughout, I provide stories from my veterinary practice, offering further illustration of the concepts for contemplation. The third element explores the unfolding of my own spiritual growth — a concept I learned in the process — and how it changed me.

The struggle inside me first started in the 1990s and early 2000s when I practiced large- and small-animal ambulatory medicine out of a pickup truck in a rural mountain community in southwestern Colorado. Horses, llamas, alpacas, dogs, and cats were my primary patients, along with other wild and domestic flying, swimming, and crawling creatures. I drove day and night to attend to animals in beautiful places around Durango, Colorado, where the Animas River carves the landscape.

The majority of my time spent researching spiritual teachings took place on the job in a pickup truck where the only way to learn was from audiotapes. Time off included further seeking by reading, praying, attending church services, meditating, chanting, going on a vision quest, attending retreats with a Tibetan lama and Buddhist nuns, questioning psychics and shamans, pursuing an animal communication apprenticeship, and conducting interviews with experts in numerous fields of spirituality.

During this period, I drove an average of a hundred miles or more a day. Fortunately, the scenery made that part of the job a pleasure, although the dirt routes on winding, mountainous terrain were often treacherous. The views of snow-covered peaks and enchanted valleys, tall ponderosa forests, and aspen groves soothed my stressed mind. Guardian angels held the wheel as I watched a bald eagle circling above or stared at an osprey sitting on a snag next to the Animas River. The occasional coyote made me giggle as he scooted across a field, looking over his shoulder as though trouble were on his tail. A bobcat, a bachelor band of elk, or a family of deer crossing the road at times caused me to hit the brakes. Drives to ranches were adventures into fantasylands of hidden canyons and mysterious ravines where cell phone service was lost. A tourist once told me, “You live in a postcard.” To which I replied, “And I drive each day in the mud, dust, and snow that keep everyone else from living here.”

My home is in La Plata County, a community full of colorful characters: ranchers whose families have lived here for generations, Native Americans, mountain hermits, Hispanics, and nonlocal people who moved to the country from cities. The stories I share about these people are true; at least, this is the truth as I remember it. Only the names of people, animals, and some places have been changed to protect privacy. One group of folks who live here, not found in cities, are cattlemen who breed livestock in small family-run operations. Their relationship with the animals they raise for income is often misunderstood. Humans and beasts depend on one another; one does not survive without the other. The rural life itself is foreign to many. The jobs of the mobile large-animal doctor intertwines with the country ranch life, and both involve hard physical work caring for beasts that can be dangerous. The veterinary workforce has evolved to focus more on pets in cities, and a shortage of rural veterinarians creates challenges for folks living in the country.

 

As a child, Karlene Stange, DVM, author of The Spiritual Nature of Animals, wanted to be an “animal doctor” before she knew the word “veterinarian.” Today she incorporates acupuncture, traditional Chinese herbal medicine, and nutritional therapy into her Rocky Mountain practice. She often speaks at conferences and lives in Durango, Colorado. You can find out more about her work at www.animasanimals.com.

Excerpted from the book The Spiritual Nature of Animals. Copyright © 2017 by Karlene Stange.

Letter from heaven…

Dear……………,
Now that I am in Heaven, I know that life for you there just isn’t the same.   I want you to know that I hear you say how much you miss me and love me every day.   Yes, I still hear you.    I love you so much too.    My love for you will never waiver from Heaven.   I can’t say that I miss you because you see, missing you is a negative emotion, and we simply don’t have negative emotions here in Heaven.   And so, instead of missing you for all of the years that you have left in your life, I will Love you through them.   I know it is hard to continue when you feel you are walking through life without me, but I want you to know that I am right here next to you.   I walk through your life with you now, guiding you and helping you along the way.     Our relationship never ended when I graduated to Heaven; it is simply different now.      Heaven is all around you.    Heaven is truly only 3 feet off of your floor.

I want you to look for the signs that I leave for you from Heaven. You won’t have to look very hard because I will surround you with signs in so many different ways.   You see, I am limitless when it comes to leaving you signs.   Birds, butterflies, silly shaped rocks, rainbows, clouds that look like me, electronic mishaps, songs on your radio, coins, feathers, oh I wouldn’t begin to be able to tell you how many different kinds of signs that I can bring into your path.   When you see the signs I send, don’t let your conscious mind tell you that it wasn’t from me, because it was.   Sometimes you may miss the signs that I send you because it is hard to see the beauty in the world around you through tears and that is okay; I will just keep with the signs of love until those tears clear.

I am not missing out on your milestones or the milestones within our family.   I love the way you think of me so often.   The ways that you and the family have honoured me since I journeyed home to heaven are pretty amazing.   Please try not to dwell on the day and way that I passed, for my legacy of love that I left behind for you is so much more beautiful than my passing.    It hurts you to think of my passing, and that hurt is not the best part of me that I left for you.    I want you to hold on to our sweet memories that we share with one another.

When you find yourself in a day of tears, please just replace one of those tears with your favourite memory of me.   I will sit with you as you remember me and enjoy the memory with you.   I know you would love to see me in dreams every night as you go to sleep.   I would love to be there in your dreams each night as well.   When you say out loud, “I never see you in my dreams”, it places blocks in my way because your energy says that you don’t see me.   I want to help you with that.   I want you to change that phrase to, “ I look forward to seeing you in my dreams in your perfect timing”.   It will help you to place this positive focus on seeing me in your dreams when the timing is right.   The reason I don’t come every night in your dreams is that you do need space to work through your grief as well.

You see, you are gaining more strength through your grief than you ever knew you could carry in life.   Part of that strength is my gift to you, and that gift will only make sense someday when you return home to Heaven here with me. We spend our lives there living for our spiritual growth.    Some of the most beautiful spirits write from and of the most difficult paths, and I want you to be so proud of yourself for the life you are living with all of the obstacles you placed within your path.   I also want you to know how extremely proud of you I am as I watch you learn and grow from Heaven. You are not being punished when I went to Heaven before you.    I simply reached my soul’s beautiful goal of growth in life.   I achieved this amazing goal before you, and it didn’t mean that I left you for one moment.   I graduated to the next part of my eternal journey.

Oh, you should have seen it when I got here!!   All of our family and friends who graduated  before me were right at my side to greet me when I arrived.   Even the pets that we had along the way were waiting with smiles and wags as I walked into the light!   I went into a review of my life after I arrived and it was incredible to see all of the lives I touched there with mine.   I got to re-live my life through the eyes of every person that my life touched along the way.   It was beautiful to watch my life through your eyes as well.   Don’t worry, when you get here, you will get to review your life through everyone’s eyes as well as your own and even through mine.   There will be moments you are extremely proud of, and there will also be moments that you will recognize that you could have handled differently.   But, the beauty of those moments is that you are living, and in your life, not everything will be perfect, and that is just part of our growth.   None of us can take back the things we could have done differently, but we sure can grow from those moments.   Of course, me telling you this now gives you an opportunity to look at the days in your future differently so that you will be proud of them when you look back.   I didn’t have to make myself a home when I arrived here because I already had one.   You see, I lived in Heaven before I lived there on Earth with you and I simply returned to my beautiful home.   You will remember it too when you get here.

The colours here in Heaven aren’t like anything you have there on Earth!   The light that fills the air lifts our souls with love.   The Angel’s choir has such a Heavenly sound that it brings peaceful showers of love down upon you all on Earth.   The weather here is perfect always.   Time doesn’t exist here which is nice too, I mean we don’t have to run around heaven looking at our watches on our spirit wrists worried about being late for anything,   You see, you can’t place a time on Eternity.

We don’t work here in the way that you all work on Earth, but we do work.  We work on our spiritual growth, and we are always working on the beautiful evolution of our Souls growth and strength.   Just remember as you walk through your life every day, that I am right here at your side.   I cheer you on in your times of Greatness, and I wipe your tears in your moments of pain.   So what if you have a day of tears, I will stay at your side for comfort. I can tell you that I am most proud of you as you get out and live life to its fullest. I don’t want you to think that you can no longer live because I am “Gone” because I am not gone at all.   Carry me with you in all that you do for I am here. The dreams that you wish you could have lived out with me in life are still possible and don’t you worry;  I won’t miss them.

My biggest message of all in this letter to you is that I am perfect, don’t worry about me.  I Love you, and I am with you for always, I want to see you live life to its fullest, I want to see you catch your dreams and I see you and hear you always both when you speak out loud and even when you talk silently to me in your mind.   Someday this will all make perfect sense when you get to be with me so don’t worry that it doesn’t make sense now. Just know that you are a miracle and because you are a miracle, you are capable of creating miracles as well.

I Love You……

All Of My Love,
Me Up In Heaven.

 

heart roseadapted letter

 

“A Dog’s View on Love, Life and Death” J R Archers novel – a review

 

What a delightful novel, J R Archer’s, “A Dog’s View of Love, Life and Death” is to read.  Those of us who enjoy the company of our best friend would not be surprised that they have a greater purpose than just remind us of and give unconditional love.  Rosie and Rags while going through their doggie days are not only interacting with an attractive small cast of humans and other canines but manage to sprinkle lightly some seriously valuable advice and information.

The story set in New York dog rescue unit which has its interesting sub-story, of course, involves humans and dogs who are linked together by circumstances that invite consideration from the interesting perspective of this novel.  Rosie and Rags are extraordinary characters who not only are fountains of knowledge regarding spiritual matters but also endearing teachers, to human and canines alike.

 

dogs life


From the publisher’s website:

In A Dog’s View of Love, Life, and Death, human beings, content they know the answers to life’s big questions, continue making the same mistakes time and time again. Dogs, being their closest non-human companions and knowing a little more than humans think they know, assist them discreetly with their evolution of consciousness.

After spending twelve years paralysed from the neck down, Seamus McGarry can’t quite believe he’s communicating telepathically with a dog named Rosie.

Millionaire Will Roper is living the life and feeling in control of his destiny. But his anger issues are landing him in hot water. If that isn’t enough, Saddam Hussein, his dead mother’s dog, and a man living in a doorway have all crossed his path. Things will never be the same again.

Old-timer Lennon, a Harlequin Great Dane, New York, born and bred, feels life is passing him by. That is until a dog shows up at the shelter and helps him understand his existence here isn’t quite what it seems.

Dolores Fanon, a recovering addict, has been clean and relatively serene for 3 years. However, life’s just dealt her a low blow. She’s struggling to cope, and when a psychic working for the N.Y.P.D. appears in her life, secrets from the past come flooding into the present.

With great imagination and spiritual insight, J. R. Archer imbues his beloved animal characters with enlightened personalities and telepathic abilities stemming from their unconditional love. Through a profound connection to human beings, these dogs teach us about the real nature of life and death. Anyone who has ever felt close to an animal companion will gain a new understanding of this relationship by reading Archer’s novel, and all of us will benefit from the wisdom the dogs provide about the human journey through the school of life.

Leslie KeanNew York Times bestselling author of UFOs: Generals, Pilots, and Government Go on the Record and Surviving Death: A Journalist Investigates Evidence for an Afterlife
In his debut novel, J.R. Archer offers a warm and whimsical meditation on life’s meaning and the soul’s journey, as understood by the more advanced souls among us – our canine companions. I only hope that someday I can be as wise as the four-legged heroes of A Dog’s View of Love, Life, and Death.

Michael PrescottNew York Times bestselling author of Skin in the Game and The Street.
Generally, I read for enlightenment, not entertainment. Thus, I rarely read fiction. However, because I know the author and also because I was intrigued by the title, I decided to read this novel. I’m glad I did, and I can honestly and objectively say it is both enlightening and entertaining. In fact, it is the most entertaining book I can recall reading.

Michael E. Tymn, Editor, Journal for Spirituality and Consciousness Studies, and author of The Afterlife Revealed: What Happens After We Die
If like us, you feel that your dogs were brought into your life to teach you spiritual lessons, you will absolutely love this wonderful book. J. R. Archer takes us on a roller coaster adventure through New York with a cast of characters across the social spectrum who are dealing with everything that life can throw at them. Supporting them all with brilliant spiritual advice are two fur angels, Rosie and Rags, who are able to connect telepathically with the humans, and other dogs, who cross their paths. Fast-paced and full of action, this is a book that will resonate with lovers of animals and all those who have ever wondered if there is anything beyond this life.

Victor and Wendy Zammit, co-authors of A Lawyer Presents the Evidence for the Afterlife and The Friday Afterlife Report.

… a metaphysical brain teaser and an indictment of excess in all its forms.

Publishers Weekly.


About the author

J. R. Archer incarnated somewhere on the planet during the latter half of the twentieth century. He spent his life living as someone else until he wrote this story. At the time of writing, Rags and Rosie are in the body and enjoying this incarnation.


Publisher: White Crow Books
Published June 2017
312 pages
Size: 203 x 127 mm
ISBN 978-1-78677-011-0

 

 

 

from “They Shall be Comforted”

Maurice Barbanell (1902-1981) was an accomplished journalist and superb medium for the Teachings of Silver Birch.  The description of “life after life” in his book “They Shall Be Comforted” is well worth sharing.

is (2)

If you are currently grieving the passing of a loved one, you are urged to read this extract.

One day after “death” you will be the same individual as you were one day before it, except that you will have discarded your physical body.    You will express yourself through your etheric body, which is a replica of the physical one.    It does not, however, reproduce any of its imperfections.

All disease and infirmities will be left behind.    The deaf will hear.   The dumb will speak. The blind will see.   The cripple will be a cripple no longer.

You must try and understand that life in the spirit world is not dreamy or nebulous.   It is full of activity.     It is just as real as the life that each one of us lives here.     We are accustomed to thinking of the material world as being real and solid, although actually, this is not so, as the science of physics proves.    The things of the mind, or the spirit, seem to us shadowy and vague, but to those who live on the Other Side, the mental is the real and the physical is the shadow.

This doubtless will be hard for you to grasp, but you will find a perfect analogy if you think of your dreams.     When you dream, all the things that you encounter are real at the time of their happening. They only become dreams when you wake up.    If you never woke up, and dreaming was the perpetual state of your existence, then that state would become your reality.

The spirit world is round and about us.    Some people see it and hear it because they can tune into its vibrations.     It is not situated in some far-off continent.     It is a part of the universe, blending and intermingling with the physical world.

You must dismiss from your mind the old-fashioned theological idea that, after “death,” there is an undisturbed eternal sleep.      There may be, at first, a short time of rest to enable the newly-arrived spirit to adjust himself to his new life.   This usually takes a little time. Then he meets those who have preceded him.   Families are reunited.    Old associations are re-established.    Friendships are renewed.

I know the question you will ask is, “How will I be able to recognise those who have gone before?”   This is not a real difficulty.   They will know you, having watched over you and kept in constant touch with you.   Then, because the spirit world is a place where thought is the reality, they will be able to show themselves to you as you knew them.

There is, however, one great factor always operating in the spirit world – the unalterable law of attraction.   Only those of like spiritual qualities can meet on the same plane in the new life. The husband and wife, who were only held together on earth by a legal tie, and between whom no real love existed, will not be together in spirit life.

Sometimes, people are puzzled because they learn that there are houses on the Other Side.    You must remember, though, these are not houses made of bricks and mortar but constructed out of thought.    This applies also to the clothing that is worn.

The instinct to clothe oneself is deeply rooted and has become habitual. No one would dream of walking through the streets unclothed.    This habit is part of our mental make-up.    That is why it persists on the Other Side where mental states are the reality.

“What about food?” you may ask. “Do they eat?”

As long as there is a desire for food, this mental desire is mentally satisfied.    As long as the individual craves for food and drink, he can obtain the illusion of what he requires – and it satisfies him.   You may call this material if you like, but it is far more sane and logical than pearly gates and golden harps!

In the spirit world, there are no language difficulties.   All people of all nations speak the same language – thought.    There are no words to be mouthed, for ideas are conveyed telepathically, from one person to another.     Words, after all, are but clumsy substitutions for thoughts.    They are artificial means by which we communicate our ideas to one another.   But words can never adequately express the thoughts one is trying to convey.

One day, when the human race has evolved,  language will be abolished.   We will have learnt how to send our ideas to each other telepathically.    Then, many of our international difficulties will disappear.

In the spirit world, each person’s thoughts are known and cannot be hidden.   There can be no deception of pretence.   Every individual is known for what he is.   He cannot deceive anybody, for lying is impossible.

“What about age?” you may ask. “What happens to old people who pass on?”

Physical age and mental growth do not proceed at the same rate.   We rashly judge a man’s mentality by the age of his physical body here.   On the Other Side of life, it is the mind which survives, and mental growth consists of progress towards maturity.   Little children will grow older.   The old people grow younger in spirit.

What work do they do?   Each person seeks to express his natural bent.   In this earthly life of ours, there are thousands of singers who have never sung; actors who have never acted; painters who have never painted; poets who have never written a line of poetry; musicians who have never composed a note of music.   All these talents have never had an opportunity of being expressed, because through economic circumstances usually, the owners had to follow some other occupation to secure their bread and butter.

On the Other Side, they can express their talents.   There are no square pegs in round holes in that world.   For them, life is one continuous road of progress, each person striving to eliminate the dross from his nature and perfecting his own being. In that striving for perfection, there is no limit.   It goes on for eternity.

The spirit world will not be so unfamiliar as we think because … most of us visit it in our sleep state.   Unfortunately, few of us remember what transpires.   When, however, we pass on, the law of association of ideas will recall our nocturnal experiences.

Of course, it takes some time for the newly arrived spirit to acclimatise himself to the conditions of life on the Other Side.   This process of awakening differs according to the knowledge of spirit life that the “dead” man had before his passing.   The more ignorant he was, the longer it will take him to familiarise himself with his new conditions.

Then, too, those who were trained in very orthodox ideas, with rigid conceptions of after-“death” states, experience a great difficulty, because the next stage of life being a mental one, they live in the mental world they have created, until they have evolved sufficiently to dispel this illusion.

When we pass on, we do not enter Heaven through “pearly gates”, neither do we descend to Hell through lakes of “fire and brimstone”.    Nor do we sleep forever.

Each one of us naturally gravitates to the spiritual sphere for which we are fitted, according to the life we have lived and the character we have evolved here.   We cannot occupy a higher sphere than the spiritual status we have reached, nor will we desire to occupy a lower one.    Automatically, we shall go just to that plane of spirit life for which we are fitted.   We shall not be able to pretend that we are better or worse, for stripped of our physical body we shall be revealed and known for what we are.

People who have lived normal lives will not find anything to disappoint them when they arrive in the spirit world.   It is the selfish man who has to face great difficulties, due to these earthly habits which act as a barrier to be overcome by progress before he is fitted to associate with those he loves.   If by virtue of life he has lived upon earth, he has cut himself off from those who love him, that will be his hell.

What is heaven?   It is the reward of a life wisely spent on earth, for it will mean that automatically we reach those we love … heaven and hell are mental states.   Of course, those who dwell on a higher plane can, if they so desire, visit spirits on relatively lower spheres.   This they often do.   But it is impossible for those on lower planes to visit those on higher.

In many cases, those who “die” go through a difficult period of stress, due to the fact they cannot reach the ones they love on earth.   When they have awakened to an understanding of their new life, they naturally return to their loved ones to try to tell them of their survival.    They find it hard to understand that while they can see the earthly members of their families, the bereaved are unable to sense the presence of those for whom they are mourning.

This is a very poignant sorrow that thousands of spirits experience. They do all they can to attract the attention of earthly friends, but too often they fail and have to leave them disconsolate.

By some law which we do not understand, those on the Other Side know a little beforehand when somebody is going to pass from this world.   They make the necessary preparations to greet them and to help them with their passing.    This explains the fact that on hundreds of occasions people before they “die” have named “dead” relatives they said they could see in the room.   Sometimes these spirit relatives have been seen by those in attendance on the “dying” person.

Clairvoyants who have witnessed the “death” of an individual tell us that they see a replica of the physical body gradually rise, connected for a while by a thread (it is what the Bible describes as the “silver cord”) which is attached to a vicinity near the brain. When the thread is snapped, “death” takes place.   This etheric body is then seen to rise upwards until it disappears from view.

The one thing that brings the greatest sorrow to those who have passed on is our excessive grief.   This, curiously enough, acts as a deterrent to their getting close to us. They do not like the constant visits to the graveyard as they know they are not there. Most Spiritualists make a habit of placing flowers near the photograph of the one who has passed on, particularly remembering anniversaries.   This serves to perpetuate the idea that the spirit is constantly in the home.

Spiritualist also indulge in the habit of mentally communicating with those who have passed on by sending them messages, treating them as if they were actually present in the room.    I know that these messages are received, for again and again I have heard spirit return thanks for this communion and give evidence that he has received it by repeating to the medium some of the ideas expressed.

Spirit life is not a state of vagueness or eternal sleep, but one of activity and labour. Idleness and unemployment do not exist there.    There is plenty for all to do, although I know it is difficult for us who are immersed in material affairs to appreciate the activities of the spiritual world.

Apart from labour, there is the opportunity for recreation and enjoyment.   There are means of education and instruction in all branches of life – in just that particular form of knowledge which the spirit desires.

Of course, many of them are engaged in tasks which mean co-operation with people in this world.    Some of them are hard at work helping to make communication between the two worlds easier.

Others, attracted by people in our world who are following similar lines of research, industry, art or reform, naturally return to inspire those efforts, although often people in this world are unconscious of spirit interest.

(from “They Shall Be Comforted” by Maurice Barbanell,

published by the Psychic Book Club, London. Not dated.)

8 Suggestions for Therapists working with bereaved parents

©DAVE ROBERTS
My niece at a Hospice Butterfly Release (2013)

Working with a parent whose child has died can present unique challenges for a therapist on two levels:

 

1) A therapist who is also a mother or father finds themselves confronted with a parent’s worst nightmare. Unless acknowledged in clinical supervision, he/she may have difficulty being objective when working with surviving parents and family members.

 

2) The discovery that short-term or solution focused therapies falls short in addressing the ongoing challenges faced by parents after the death of their children.

 

I am a Licensed Master Social Worker, a retired addiction professional and a parent who has experienced the death of a child. My daughter Jeannine died on March 1, 2003, at the age of 18, due to a rare and aggressive form of cancer.

The re-examination of my personal priorities and values following Jeannine’s death, extended to the therapeutic approaches that I used with chemically dependent individuals. Prior to Jeannine’s death, I typically employed the stage theory of grief with substance users who experienced loss due to death. Stage theory was all that I knew.

 

My own experience after catastrophic loss taught me that grief didn’t progress in a series of linear, predictable stages. If grief wasn’t linear for me, then I couldn’t expect it to be for my clients.

 

Based on what I have discovered about myself today, I want to share 8 suggestions for therapists working with bereaved parents. I also believe that what follows applies to all individuals who have experienced loss due to death:

  • Focus on being a companion on the journey: It is important for therapists to bear witness to a parent’s path after the death of their child. Stories of relationships with their children need to be honoured. Through storytelling, therapists get to know the deceased child through the eyes of the parent.
  • Be prepared to witness parents’ experiences with after-death communication:  Many parents that I have companioned, routinely share instances where they have sensed the presence of their children. Since Jeannine’s death, I have received many signs of her presence. It is important for therapists to ask parents what thoughts they experienced prior to receiving the communication. The signs that parents receive from their children are usually a result of what transpires in the present. Some therapists may be sceptical of the existence of after death communication. Regardless of beliefs, it is important to reserve judgment and listen. I was one of those sceptics ……until my daughter died. Two very good books on this topic are: Hello From Heaven by Bill and Judy Guggenheim and Visions of the Bereaved by Kay Witmer Woods.
  • Recognise each parent’s right to grieve as he/she sees fit: Each parent’s expression of pain is unique. Empower parents to grieve in a way that is meaningful for them and effectively facilitates mourning after their children die. Any healthy expression of grief should be honoured
  • Emphasise the importance of ongoing support: Usually support groups composed of individuals who have experienced a similar type of loss (i.e. child, spouse) are the most effective. In my experience, effective therapy plus meaningful peer support is a powerful combination to help bereaved parents work through their grief.
  • Being aware of language: Avoid the use of the terms “closure “and “moving on” in therapy. Bereaved parents learn to navigate grief by maintaining ongoing bonds with their loved ones. It is through remembering and honouring the existence of their children, for as long as they live, that facilitates meaningful lives after loss.
  • Recognise that the sadness of loss is not the same as clinical depression: With grief work and ongoing support, sadness lessens and become more manageable over time. Many grieving individuals with whom I have worked, didn’t have a history of mental health challenges. Medicating grief for these individuals may delay the work that is needed to effectively negotiate it. However, if a therapist is working with bereaved parents with pre-existing emotional health or substance use issues, continued management of mental health symptoms and/or maintenance of sobriety for grief work to be effective, needs to be emphasised.
  • Helping bereaved parents recognise that they are much more: For purposes of clarity, I have used the term bereaved parents throughout this piece. It is crucial that therapists help parents discover that their identities extend beyond being bereaved. With the help of others and my desire to see the experience of loss differently, I began acknowledging my other skills as a parent to my two surviving children and as a teacher, friend and husband. Don’t allow parents to buy into the illusion that being bereaved is the totality of their identity.
  • Emphasise self-care: Though I have discovered that bereavement support is extremely fulfilling, continually attending to the energy of parents who have experienced the death of a child, can be extremely draining. It is crucial for therapists to routinely empower parents to do what nourishes their souls, in the aftermath of the death of their children. As a therapist empowers bereaved parents to fulfil their needs, he/she must be mindful of doing the same with respect to his/her needs.

 

Dave Roberts, Contributor Huffington Post, Adjunct Professor of Psychology-Utica College, Writer and speaker with specialities in grief and loss, spirituality and addiction.  

Thank you from IDigitalMedium

Thank You ~ A Sincere Word of Appreciation…

For the people who contributed so that iDigitalMedium can have the funds to incorporate as a non-profit – we say thank you.

I personally guarantee that your trust in us was not misplaced, as we will show in the remainder of this year and beyond. We’re working stiffs – just like you, and we are proud to partner up with you for the greatest challenge of our age.

A total of $875 was raised from all sources (online and offline). The reason the fundraiser shows a goal of $380 is because a few donors had given prior to the creation of the GoFundMe.

This fundraiser was a success – thanks to YOU! Did you know the cost of just filing with the IRS alone as a non-profit is $400? And when GoFundMe takes their 8% fee we’ll likely have just enough to get started out on the right foot with the rest of the official filings.

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